Sounding it out: ‘Listening to white noise put my life back on track’
by Megan Nolan on November 17, 2019 at 10:00 am
Megan Nolan was searching for a way to switch off the stresses of modern life. Then she discovered white noise. Here, she charts how the flat frequencies helped her copeLate last year Spotify presented me with my Top 100 most listened to tracks of 2018 and, as ever when I’m presented with some unknown version of myself, I couldn’t wait to analyse it. Like a dog returning to its vomit, nothing fascinates me more than my own alien excretions. I could spend the rest of my life contorting my brain to view tagged pictures of myself, attempting to understand how others see me. But there it was, above the other great heroes of my year, Leonard Cohen and Ariana Grande. In the number one spot was White Noise. Not just White Noise – “White Noise For Babies”. I had listened to nothing all year as much as I had listened to flat soundscapes designed to soothe infants.I first came to white noise shortly after I moved to London from Dublin. I left Ireland in a hurry, with no good plans in place, no real reason to have come, and so lived for two years in a constant stressful flux. I worked temp jobs, I sub-let my bedroom, I relied on the generosity of my best friend to top up my Oyster card when I had nothing left. I felt flayed. London left nothing to the imagination.It not only drowns out my thoughts, but doesn’t actually allow them to exist at all for the time that I’m listeningThe story of me and white noise is also the story of me and half a lifetime’s worth of ways to avoid going madWhite noise is the only self-medication I have found that does me no actual harmThere will be times when no noise I can find will be loud enough Continue reading...
don't know what to do
by /u/edgymacaroni on November 17, 2019 at 9:53 am
Hi! Recently I started high school and since we have school psychologist, my friend who heard about my problems made appointment for me. I visited her 2 times already and tried to explain, that I think I have anxiety, but she doesn't understand and thinks it's "just normal teenager stress". I'm pretty sure it isn't, because I'm terrified of any social interaction and I have something like panic attacks everytime I must leave my house. Basically everything scares me, I can't function properly and even posting this causes a huge fear in me. I don't know what to do. I want to get help, but nobody understands my struggle. My parents think I'm not allowed to have problems at this age, friends think I'm stupid... How can I explain this to someone? What should I do? Probably gonna delete this later, but I hope that at least one of you can try to help me a little 🙂 Also I hope my English isn't that awful and you can understand what I mean. submitted by /u/edgymacaroni [link] [comments
For the folks with glasses..
by /u/MisterBullDogg on November 17, 2019 at 9:48 am
I’ve been wearing glasses since I was in middle or high school, and I’ve found they play a huge role in managing my anxiety. Over time, I’ve found that they make the eye contact thing more bearable because 9/10 a person can’t see pass the glare in my lens (too cheap to upgrade), and therefore help to manage my anxiety by having them on. At the same time, when I don’t wear them or I wear non-prescriptive glasses (for vanity), I fluctuate between benefits and consequences. On one hand, I can’t see anyone clearly and thus cannot tell if anyone is staring, so squinting is kind of embarrassing and can exacerbate my anxiety. On the other hand, since I can’t see facial expressions, there’s no real need to worry about what people are doing because the world is more clear within a few inches of me. Not sure if this post made too much sense but hopefully my glasses friends will understand. Was hoping you guys had thoughts of your own (for or against) in regards to this mess of a post. Thanks for reading if you got this far. Just wanted to remind you that you are beautiful and incredible and amazing 🙂 submitted by /u/MisterBullDogg [link] [comments
How do you all stop intrusive thoughts? Whats the best method of distracting yourself from ruminating?
by /u/jackto on November 17, 2019 at 9:27 am
Title submitted by /u/jackto [link] [comments
by /u/ragingregina on November 17, 2019 at 9:09 am
I’m new to this subreddit but I’m having some issues and nobody else is awake (nearly 4am). I’ve had anxiety for a long time and I know where it stems from. I know I have general and health related anxiety and it makes me have irrational thoughts. Often times I get symptoms of whatever disease/sickness is worrying me at that time. I once convinced myself I had appendicitis and had my mom drive me to the ER at 1am. Well tonight is no different. My cat bit me earlier today and now I’m scared I’ll get rabies. I KNOW this is an irrational thought because even though she’s an indoor-outdoor cat she’s been vaccinated against it and she hasn’t come in with any scratches or bites nor has she shown any symptoms of the disease. My boyfriend was scratched by her a few weeks ago and obviously he’s fine but my mind WILL NOT let me sleep or stop worrying about it. I figured eventually I’ll fall asleep from exhaustion but here I am. Every time I get close to sleeping my mind jolts me awake and the arm that she bit me on is aching which doesn’t help (it’s most likely my mind making it ache). By the way she’s fast asleep at my boyfriends feet right now. This isn’t the first time I’ve had this fear and I’m sure it won’t be the last. It just sucks because I know I’m fine but my mind just won’t let me forget it. I had a feeling tonight would be rough because when everything is silent and there’s nothing going on my mind takes full control. Sorry for the long post. I just really needed to get this off my chest. submitted by /u/ragingregina [link] [comments
Fake extroversion to feel happy?
by /u/CaptainEvans on November 17, 2019 at 8:55 am
Hello, 15 year old introvert here. I have social anxiety and the very thought of going out scares me. I sometimes think maybe I should fake being an extrovert. Loud, witty, confident and pretty much all the qualities that come to mind when we think of an extrovert. If I were to fake being one, would I be happier? submitted by /u/CaptainEvans [link] [comments
Pulse in stomach
by /u/umcute on November 17, 2019 at 7:54 am
I can feel a pulse in my lower stomach on the right side which keeps coming and going and I’ve become really worried about it thanks to googling. It feels like it came out of nowhere and I just wish it wasn’t happening 🙁 I don’t know if I should see a doctor or if it’s literally nothing. Last time I went for stomach issues it felt like they brushed it off as nothing and me just being a big worry wart 🙁 submitted by /u/umcute [link] [comments
age of comparison
by /u/innemroom on November 17, 2019 at 7:35 am
I don’t remember a single social event that I didnt feel overwhelmed or anxious in. Due to unhealthy coping skills, I have isolated myself for the past 2 years and have lost old and new friends. At first it was difficult to handle, but now I’m getting used to coping with the big dark emptiness within me. Until I log into social media and see my old friends making new connections, friendships, and relationships that is. It gets harder to deny the fact that I value human connection the most in life and I’m not at that point in my life yet to have achieved that. I admit that i lack social skills bc i lacked exposure thus far in my life. i’m alone- i feel really alone and isolated. but i’m on a college campus and i meet people daily, just on a surface level. That’s my current situation and I should focus on developing that right now. i kinda wish i kept myself in a bubble, never popped it, and maintained the old social circle all my life like my old group of friends. but that’s not my situation right now and that’s okay. maybe there will be another phase in my life for that. its okay that my life doesnt align with society’s friend filled laughter seeping expectations. It’s important to redirect my attention to the time of now and what i have infront of me instead of getting sucked in to the endless possibilities of “what if”. that won’t make you any happier. but what are practical ways to do that and maintain my focus on the present? submitted by /u/innemroom [link] [comments
Me dwelling on some cringey shit I did two years ago.
by /u/DeathlinkCB on November 17, 2019 at 7:23 am
submitted by /u/DeathlinkCB [link] [comments
My friend asked me what is on my mind that makes me hurt
by /u/yungalcoholicsanon on November 17, 2019 at 7:19 am
I think most of the time my thoughts are what rly makes me hurt and that’s why my life is going to have so much hurting, because I’ll never be able to get away from myself. Looking at my family makes me hurt, seeing how much my dad suffers because of his mental health. My mom tells me that nobody is going to want me. She hates all my girlfriends because she says if someone wants to date me then there must be something wrong with them. I see life as something that’s bittersweet and everything that’s good must become shit. You come to love people and then that becomes ruined and that happens over and over, so I don’t even feel happy when I feel loved because I know that things like love degrade over time and become so ugly. I think that I’m degrading over time. My family has degraded over time. I hurt when I look at myself because I hate what I see, and I know that it’s not because I’m physically ugly because even when I look back at my younger self I see how beautiful I am, but I always felt I was hideous. I never understand how anyone could possibly love me. I hurt because I feel that my life has been such a waste, that I have nothing to my own name, I’ve accomplished so little, and even the things I’ve accomplished and am accomplishing now don’t make me feel happy. They make me feel that I should’ve done better. I can never get away from that. I hurt because there’s so much innocence in the world that is destroyed for no reason. That there’s no other way things could have been but to have become disillusioned by the world, and stolen away from innocence due to the horrible things that I’ve seen in life, as if a hawk had picked me up from the ground and taken me away to be eaten. I hurt because nothing ever satisfies me. I’m addicted to everything because I’m grasping desperately at anything that can stop me from suffering for just one moment. I crave so much that even when things are truly special, because there are certain things in life that are really beautiful, I can’t help but chase after them so desperately and indulge in them to such an extent that I squeeze out every drop of what had once made that thing special until it becomes something grey and dull like everything else, and then I’m left with an emptiness where that special thing had once filled me up. I really think that life is bad. That life ruins everything just by being the way life is naturally. And when I see these things clearly in front of me there’s nothing else to do but close my eyes and hope that I’m dreaming. That this life is a nightmare and that I’ll wake up eventually. But I’m forced to acknowledge that this horrible life is the only reality there is, and that I can either exist and suffer for the rest of my life or stop now and be able to finally rest. Finally get away from all the hurting. I just don’t understand what is out there for me that can redeem life. submitted by /u/yungalcoholicsanon [link] [comments
What do I do now?
by /u/thehazzanator on November 17, 2019 at 6:56 am
Recently I've been having some of the worst anxiety I have ever experienced, it's effecting every aspect of my life now But I'm already taking antidepressants (for depression) and I'm already seeing a psychologist, idk, what do I do now? My partner has absolutely no idea how to talk about feelings, and when I bring it up or even find myself crying in front of him, he makes a joke and then says 'ahh sorry i dunno what to say' I feel so alone I have a 2yo son and the irritability that comes with anxiety is making me be a shitty parent. Has anyone been in the same boat? What did you do? *Sorry if this is the wrong place to post * submitted by /u/thehazzanator [link] [comments
Does anyone else get anxious around birthdays or events because you feel like everyone has more fun on those days than you do?
by /u/Coolbeanery on November 17, 2019 at 6:22 am
I guess “everyone” is a relative term where I feel like those around me seem to have super fun birthdays, but I don’t really look forward to my birthday because I always feel like nobody will care and I’ll just feel anxious if I plan something and people cancel. I do have friends and a boyfriend but I haven’t had anyone plan something special for my birthday in a really long time, or been able to throw something for myself people will come to. And my family never cared about it too much, we might go for a dinner if they’re feeling up to it but I don’t usually get a gift or cake or anything. I feel like it’s dumb to be complaining about a birthday when people have much bigger problems but my sister and I always used to celebrate and she moved away years ago so now I feel like I will sit at home doing nothing. I was always jealous of those people who have parties with many friends, I might do something small with 2 close friends but I’ll probably just be buying my own gifts. I feel the same way around holidays sometimes as my family isn’t big on them. Why do events that are supposed to be fun make me feel so anxious around them? I want to change my mindset and look forward to these moments that are supposed to be special, but I’m always anxious that nobody will care and I’ll sit at home by myself... submitted by /u/Coolbeanery [link] [comments